Hello, new member from California here.

[Hurt By Therapy]

Thank you for having me and providing such a forum, I did not know it existed until I came across a link in someone's blog. It'll be nice to be around people that understand.

I was hurt and abandoned by my therapist, which created another and more current trauma than I originally went in for. I have posted the story to my blog/website, but I know it's bad form to join a group and start posting links, so I'll just copy it over here a little later today. Be forewarned, it's long, the trauma made me feel the need to enunciate more than I usually do.

Thanks again!

>Guy

[Eve B]

I've suffered through a similar experience more than once. Being around others who could relate helped blunt the pain, but it never goes away completely. It's that therapy relationship that messes with your head. I think it's easy for therapists to dump their clients when things don't go the way they like because clients are replaceable. Feel free to post your link, no worries!   

[Hurt By Therapy]

Thank you Eve, I can see you're right, this will never go away. I've never trusted anyone to this extent before. Part of that may be on me, but I thought I was cautious, I had thought I was a good judge of character and it took about a year to trust her enough to really open up. Unfortunately, as I find out, she's just really good at hiding behind a mask of friendly caring. I believe the cold fish I saw on that last session was the real person.

I agree being around others that can relate help and they can be more caring then a lot of people. I feel the people on the PTSD groups I belong to, (and here), I can talk to and not fear hearing things like "It's no big deal" or "get over it", etc.

[Hurt By Therapy]

I just put the link to my site/blog in my profile under the "about me". Site's only been up for part of this month so far so it still has some growing pains to work out, but I think I have it working well now.

I also linked to The Client's Side forum in my links section and will mention it also in my next blog post.

Thank you!

[Eve B]

10 hours ago, Hurt By Therapy said:

 I've never trusted anyone to this extent before. Part of that may be on me, but I thought I was cautious, I had thought I was a good judge of character and it took about a year to trust her enough to really open up.

I trusted my first therapist a lot due to being gullible and ignorant. After I researched how therapists are trained, it became much more difficult for me to fully believe in their "caring" even though I sometimes wanted to. When therapists overreact defensively to client criticism, though, that's for real!

[Mary S]

22 minutes ago, Eve B said:

When therapists overreact defensively to client criticism, though, that's for real!

Yes, therapists often react to client criticism defensively. But one reacted in a way that really put her foot in her mouth: I had said to her, exasperatedly, "Everything you say seems so oversimplified!", and she responded, "I'm genuine!". That really sounded ditzy to me.

[zygomaticus]

On 3/22/2021 at 2:44 AM, Eve B said:

I trusted my first therapist a lot due to being gullible and ignorant. After I researched how therapists are trained, it became much more difficult for me to fully believe in their "caring" even though I sometimes wanted to.

This is the rub. We want to find something meaningful, something 'real', a relationship within which we can bare all in a climate of trust. However, when this is put into motion by a painting-by-numbers theory driven methodology, how any given human prompts another given human to open up, to trust, to feel 'intimacy', well, it might not feel so real or trustworthy, so the act becomes a means of persuasion, a method of convincing a mark that the 'intimacy' is actually real. From this foundation, the idea is that behavioural change and cognitive change can flow, all BECAUSE the client BELIEVES in the fiction they've been presented with.

On 3/22/2021 at 2:44 AM, Eve B said:

When therapists overreact defensively to client criticism, though, that's for real!

Yes, most likely, but they will also be likely to employ methods of persuasion. Perhaps, if they feel they have sufficient access, they will gaslight the client in question. If not, and the relationship is irreparable, I would expect that the clinician will attack the client's state of mind, ability to be rational, to perceive accurately, etc, all in a climate of there being third parties to appeal to. It's all too easy, in this scenario, to place the 'irrational' client against the decorated, certificated professional, with societal institutions that baselessly are biased towards therapists as if they possess a truth that they surely don't! It appals and disturbs me that society gives psychologists a platform of authority that they've done nothing, credibly, to deserve, empirically.

Also, complaint processes, as far as I can tell, are carried out within a professional body that is in no way unbiased. It is not independent and clients have no say concerning the ethics and professional procedures, it is a code written by clinicians FOR clinicians. Clients have no say whatsoever.

[Hurt By Therapy]

On 3/26/2021 at 6:22 AM, zygomaticus said:

If not, and the relationship is irreparable, I would expect that the clinician will attack the client's state of mind, ability to be rational, to perceive accurately, etc, all in a climate of there being third parties to appeal to. It's all too easy, in this scenario, to place the 'irrational' client against the decorated, certificated professional,

Heh heh, did you read my PHI or something? Lol, you nailed it. I'll share what she wrote about me when I'm ready to publish part 2, you are on the money.

 

[Eve B]

On 3/26/2021 at 6:22 AM, zygomaticus said:

Also, complaint processes, as far as I can tell, are carried out within a professional body that is in no way unbiased. It is not independent and clients have no say concerning the ethics and professional procedures, it is a code written by clinicians FOR clinicians. Clients have no say whatsoever.

Wouldn't this make it impossible for clients to win any complaint then? 

[Mary S]

15 hours ago, Eve B said:

Wouldn't this make it impossible for clients to win any complaint then? 

There are some complaints that are so egregious that they would be decided in favor of the client, despite having a procedure that is directed by a biased professional body. For example, if the therapist came to sessions drunk, or became sexually involved with a client, they would almost certainly be sanctioned by the professional body. And then the professional body can use the fact that such cases are sanctioned to say, "See, we sanction therapists who do unethical things like this", while not acknowledging that there are other (less obvious to the public) unethical things that therapists do, but do not get sanctioned for.

[Hurt By Therapy]

3 minutes ago, Mary S said:

There are some complaints that are so egregious that they would be decided in favor of the client, despite having a procedure that is directed by a biased professional body. For example, if the therapist came to sessions drunk, or became sexually involved with a client, they would almost certainly be sanctioned by the professional body. And then the professional body can use the fact that such cases are sanctioned to say, "See, we sanction therapists who do unethical things like this", while not acknowledging that there are other (less obvious to the public) unethical things that therapists do, but do not get sanctioned for.

That makes a lot of sense, it's not an unknown procedure with many agencies and bureaucracies. "Only see what we want you to see."

[zygomaticus]

On 3/28/2021 at 5:23 AM, Eve B said:

Wouldn't this make it impossible for clients to win any complaint then? 

Impossible? Of course not. What it does mean is a very uphill battle. From the insight I've been given, practitioners are subject to action, but it generally is due to multiple complaints before a serious investigation. Look at it this way, if a client might threaten to bring a practitioner/clinic into disrepute, they are likely to be frozen out of any meaningful response. If a therapist causes multiple complaints that aren't easy to dismiss across various clients (which can't be routinely blamed on the clients), then it may, MAY be a case that they will be sanctioned, even if it is the proverbial wrist slap to satiate a client's desire for some sort of action to be taken. From what I can make out, it is often a game of assessing what a client will be satisfied with in a kind of low-balling fashion, which might just be a third party to pretend to empathise and hear them, or it might be a short suspension if the client isn't so pliable. Jeez, even practitioners guilty of serious ethical violations can end up practising again following a bit of disingenuous 'mea culpa' (diluted into language that can't result in litigation). They are very aware of the legal parameters of their profession and what protection the private nature of the therapy space brings them. It's a bitch to prove anything in court if nothing is public.

My NHS source said that the team involved with complaints are tasked with making them go away, meaning: use any tactics that will make the complainants feel they've had their day in court (even though it's an internal process and nothing of the sort has taken place). This is standard PR psychology, issue disingenuous statements, pay lip service to the problem until it swiftly goes away. Often, if people are given the IMPRESSION they had a say, they will not pursue the matter further. It is a similar principle with 'consultation periods' by councils/local authorities with some planning issue or policy when, in truth, a decision has already been made. The British government did plenty of this in the 80s concerning mine closures that devastated communities that relied upon these jobs. It was about the illusion that a fair process had taken place, simply by the appearance of a review. Those that would oppose it are more likely to accept a final decision they don't like IF they feel they at least got to voice their opinion. Cynical? Yes, it is, and it is a typical example of how psychology is weaponised by those that are schooled against the general population. Let's not fool ourselves in thinking that therapists, most of whom are educated to some, perhaps an advanced level, in psychology, aren't very well versed in the means of compliance-gaining, including dealing with those that complain.

So, yes, not impossible, of course I wasn't saying that, but yes, it is a difficult and arduous process for most, and if you're lucky enough to have more ethically-balanced clinics involved, then that's an almighty relief.

[disequilibrium1]

HBT, sorry about your experience and welcome here. My therapist did an outstanding job of rebutting my complaint by making me sound psychotic, incapable of distinguishing him and my parent. I lost the complaint. He ended though by saying he had "compassion" for me. What a performance.

[Hurt By Therapy]

3 hours ago, disequilibrium1 said:

HBT, sorry about your experience and welcome here. My therapist did an outstanding job of rebutting my complaint by making me sound psychotic, incapable of distinguishing him and my parent. I lost the complaint. He ended though by saying he had "compassion" for me. What a performance.

Thank you Disequilibrium1! Yes, I'm not holding my breath on my complaint going anywhere, but I want to put her treatment of a client on record and let her know that there can be consequences for her actions. It's my only real legal option other than lawsuit and I'd rather not go there. (I will though if her BS continues. She may think I'm not capable of defending myself, but she'd be surprised where my limits are when I'm pushed and treated like crap.)

[disequilibrium1]

1 minute ago, Hurt By Therapy said:

Thank you Disequilibrium1! Yes, I'm not holding my breath on my complaint going anywhere, but I want to put her treatment of a client on record and let her know that there can be consequences for her actions. It's my only real legal option other than lawsuit and I'd rather not go there. (I will though if her BS continues. She may think I'm not capable of defending myself, but she'd be surprised where my limits are when I'm pushed and treated like crap.)

I filed my complaint for the same reasons 1) To put his behavior on the record 2) to express, best I could, the harm  he caused. My case was too nuanced to consider a legal option.