Sharing my story.

[MoonFrog]

Hi all,

im hurting. My therapist lied a year ago to have me locked up in the hospital and refuses to take accountability for it. I wrote about it and posted it to try to get her to respond but she’s evidently going to deny that she did anything wrong. I can’t work or fully function like an adult because of this. Just needed to vent. 

[Eve B]

Welcome, MoonFrog! This is the first I've heard of PeopleClaim, but kudos to you for standing up for yourself against that awful, self-serving therapist! I'm sorry you were put through such a harmful ordeal. From how she overreacted, she doesn't seem qualified to be handling your issues. Recovering from betrayal will take some time, so please try to be patient and kind to yourself because it wasn't your fault. Did your psychiatrist not believe your side of story?

[MoonFrog]

Thank you for the kind words  No, my psychiatrist didn’t stand up for me one bit, and it’s interesting you bring that up because at the time, I think that caused far more damage than I was ever expecting it could. He was notified about what was going on in real time and apparently did nothing to stop it. When I got out, he initially wasn’t planning to see me at all; three weeks later, I saw him and he said that I should join a DBT group to get over my “rejection” issues because I called him out about his negligence and gaslighting. I work in healthcare myself and was honestly shocked at the lengths he was going to in order to defend my abusers. I would and have never berated a patient just to show solidarity with a colleague. Nonetheless, you could not be more right- recovering from betrayal does take time.

[disequilibrium1]

Moonfrog, you seem to have a good prospective on events and the courage to talk about them. I can't imagine what it was like to be under someone's control as you describe. It took me years to be able to summarize my therapist's transgressions and stand up for myself, so you're way ahead. I hope the distance, and the increasing time and distance finds you peace.  I never got any assistance, much less apology, from the original wrong-doers, but earned my own strength in sorting through the gaslighting. Indeed, gaslighting is what it is. I found comfort in establishing my own life competencies, in physical movement, and in reading how others process their unhappy experiences.
Many of us have had a difficult row in the pandemic; much more so for anyone who lost a livelihood. I found my 20s the most difficult time in my adulthood and commend you for your education and skills.  Welcome. I hope the immediacy of this horror continues to recede for you.
Incidentally, there's a lawyer/member on the Psych Central forum who, I gather, specializes in patient's rights in these holds. Some of us also have gotten conversation and help from the therapist exploitation link line:
https://www.therapyabuse.org/

[Happynow]

On 5/20/2021 at 5:18 AM, MoonFrog said:

Hi all,

im hurting. My therapist lied a year ago to have me locked up in the hospital and refuses to take accountability for it. I wrote about it and posted it to try to get her to respond but she’s evidently going to deny that she did anything wrong. I can’t work or fully function like an adult because of this. Just needed to vent. 

Hi Moonfrog, I'm not surprised you wanted to vent! What has amazed me is the number of therapists that do not take any responsibility for their behaviour. Often I believe we end up in therapy because someone in our private lives (adult, childhood or both) hasn't taken responsibility for their behaviour and we pick up that responsibility and experience guilt and shame. We need a safe place to go where a therapist will be responsible, recognise the issue and help us work through it. Instead we often get a repeat of the behaviour by the therapist that had brought us to therapy. This doubles our guilt and makes clear thinking virtually impossible. I've had this experience with a therapist and it took me a year when I returned to depression before I had the courage to see another one. Understandably I had the fear that she would be irresponsible too. Tbh she wasn't very good either but not as irresponsible as the previous one. Luckily I was gaining experience of therapy and therapists and started to believe that it wasn't me but them. I gained self confidence through this knowledge to the point where I was able to reject them and this was the simple answer. Reject them because they aren't good enough! I immediately felt more powerful and in control and ready for the next one. If they weren't good enough I would reject them too!...and I did. I gained more confidence and I was able to believe in myself more than them. When we feel wretched it doesn't make them competent, we need safety and are willing to be vulnerable, this is how it should be. However in reality it's not always like that and after years of therapy experience I have become more objective but still able to switch to openess and vulnerability if I feel safe. Although always with the knowledge that they may change suddenly and blame me/us. However bad you feel please don't believe in anyone else more than yourself because with all our qualities added up they are no better than us and many a lot worse. Good luck, lots of love.  

Edited May 27, 2021 by Happynow
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[Mary S]

11 hours ago, Happynow said:

Often I believe we end up in therapy because someone in our private lives (adult, childhood or both) hasn't taken responsibility for their behaviour and we pick up that responsibility and experience guilt and shame. We need a safe place to go where a therapist will be responsible, recognise the issue and help us work through it. Instead we often get a repeat of the behaviour by the therapist that had brought us to therapy. This doubles our guilt and makes clear thinking virtually impossible.

This more or less fits my experience with therapy. Someone I worked with had one day come into my office and started talking in a rather aggressive manner that seemed to be sexist (in the sense of denigrating women; not anything sexual) . i was  feeling pretty uncomfortable, intimidated, whatever, but trying not to show my emotions because he clearly wasn't a good person to talk about my feelings with. But then he said, "You seem reluctant to show your feelings," which seemed totally inappropriate for the work place to me. I started having nightmares and daymares about the incident. After a few months, I decided to try therapy. But the therapists seemed act very much like the coworker. (I later found out from a woman I worked with that he and his wife had been having marital therapy at the time of the incident. So I guess he was in some sense acting like a therapist.)

[Happynow]

2 hours ago, Mary S said:

This more or less fits my experience with therapy. Someone I worked with had one day come into my office and started talking in a rather aggressive manner that seemed to be sexist (in the sense of denigrating women; not anything sexual) . i was  feeling pretty uncomfortable, intimidated, whatever, but trying not to show my emotions because he clearly wasn't a good person to talk about my feelings with. But then he said, "You seem reluctant to show your feelings," which seemed totally inappropriate for the work place to me. I started having nightmares and daymares about the incident. After a few months, I decided to try therapy. But the therapists seemed act very much like the coworker. (I later found out from a woman I worked with that he and his wife had been having marital therapy at the time of the incident. So I guess he was in some sense acting like a therapist.)

Hi Mary S, Yes that's very much a classic version of a little knowledge is a dangerous thing. Imo this also applies to many therapists who have learnt it from a book or a course, no life or street experience, very dangerous too.

If you look at the reality of your experience you are mentally stable and disturbed by two people that weren't. I'm not saying that to make you feel better but because it's the truth. Neither of them spoke the truth, but you did. In my experience it's only the truth and reality that works. They didn't have that but you did. Take care.

 

[Mary S]

15 hours ago, Happynow said:

 In my experience it's only the truth and reality that works. They didn't have that but you did. Take care.

 

So much in therapy seemed disconnected from the reality I lived in. It often seemed as if therapists were using me as a point of departure (or an object?) to make up fairy tales about.

[Happynow]

When we want stability they give us fantasy, walk away and leave it with us. Then they blame us for its consequences, so irresponsible.

[disequilibrium1]

15 hours ago, Mary S said:

So much in therapy seemed disconnected from the reality I lived in. It often seemed as if therapists were using me as a point of departure (or an object?) to make up fairy tales about.

Fairy tales is correct. They had me believe I was undergoing shattering change. In reality I went through the world as the same square peg. Journal keeping, whimpering about mean mommy, paid reassurances of my worth do not magically transform me.

[Sandpiper Crossing]

16 hours ago, Mary S said:

So much in therapy seemed disconnected from the reality I lived in. It often seemed as if therapists were using me as a point of departure (or an object?) to make up fairy tales about.

Yeah I think that is especially true for case studies. The person and their struggles seem very real but where it enters fairy tale territory is when the 'case study' gets to the part where the psychologist cured the lepers, made the blind see and the lame walk.

The case studies I read follow the story arc of problem, treatment and happy ever after. 

Delusional, the whole profession!! At least with missionaries or other religious fanatics you know what beast you're dealing with. 

[Sandpiper Crossing]

Which brings me to this- why doesn't the Catholic church condemn the mental health industrial complex? Clearly psychology is threat because they're encroaching on their turf and influencing vulnerable people that used to flock to the teachings of Christianity. 

Also, Christianity wouldn't have been as powerful as it once was without the contributions of the very people that are nowadays locked into asylums and labeled with 'schizophrenia' and 'religious delusion'. 

[Sandpiper Crossing]

Welcome moonfrog! I'm new here myself. 

[disequilibrium1]

Aside from a few obvious characteristics, the "experts" don't know why some find mates where others don't. My therapist sent me for a "beauty makeover." She also told me to wear earrings to focus attention on my eyes and long necklaces that focus attention to my chest. Seriously.

 

[Mary S]

5 hours ago, disequilibrium1 said:

... My therapist sent me for a "beauty makeover." She also told me to wear earrings to focus attention on my eyes and long necklaces that focus attention to my chest. Seriously.

 

One of my worst therapists once said that I needed to dress more "nicely". That certainly conflicted with the idea that I should be myself, and not conform just for the sake of conforming.

[Happynow]

10 hours ago, disequilibrium1 said:

Aside from a few obvious characteristics, the "experts" don't know why some find mates where others don't. My therapist sent me for a "beauty makeover." She also told me to wear earrings to focus attention on my eyes and long necklaces that focus attention to my chest. Seriously.

 

My first reaction was to laugh, but this stuff is seriously worrying. If we were seeing someone at the end of the pier on a fun day out at the seaside we would be light-hearted about it, but these are supposed to be highly trained professionals. I do wonder how many families, relationships they have destroyed and how many clients have taken their own lives because of them.

[Happynow]

7 hours ago, Mary S said:

One of my worst therapists once said that I needed to dress more "nicely". That certainly conflicted with the idea that I should be myself, and not conform just for the sake of conforming.

A male friend of mine went to see a therapist and one day after a few sessions complimented her on her appearance. She asked him if he secretly liked dressing in women's clothes. 

[Mary S]

10 hours ago, Happynow said:

A male friend of mine went to see a therapist and one day after a few sessions complimented her on her appearance. She asked him if he secretly liked dressing in women's clothes. 

That was really weird of her to say!