Hi everyone!

[Happynow]

Hi everyone, I'm so glad I found this forum so I can express my experiences, good and bad. Until now the therapist had her Supervisor we had no one else to talk to when they hurt us. Thank you again.

[Eve B]

Welcome, Happynow! I've also felt much relief and comfort finding others who have endured similar bad therapy/therapist stories. I hope you find this forum to be both supportive and informative! 

[Happynow]

Thank you Eve B. I've already related quite astonishingly to Hurt by Therapys story, really helpful to me

[zygomaticus]

Welcome Happynow! I really hope you find this forum useful and supportive. It certainly has been for me.

[Happynow]

Thank you zygomaticus. It's been amazing so far the opposite of bad therapy. I can feel the guilt flowing from me. How exciting!

[Hurt By Therapy]

Welcome to the forum Happynow! I'm somewhat new here myself and have found it to be a great source of information and some really understanding people!

Good to see you here!

[Hurt By Therapy]

On 5/28/2021 at 3:00 PM, Happynow said:

Thank you zygomaticus. It's been amazing so far the opposite of bad therapy. I can feel the guilt flowing from me. How exciting!

That's well put. You've seen in my story that I was devastated, but the more I learned about bad therapists and therapy in general, I began to heal when I realized it wasn't my fault, my therapist failed me.
There's still some hurt obviously, but I've come a long way.

 

[Happynow]

58 minutes ago, Hurt By Therapy said:

That's well put. You've seen in my story that I was devastated, but the more I learned about bad therapists and therapy in general, I began to heal when I realized it wasn't my fault, my therapist failed me.
There's still some hurt obviously, but I've come a long way.

 

Can you imagine a hospital throwing someone out with a broken leg? That's what it was like for me and I guess I'm by far not the only one. They operate in flight not fight mode. The worst part being that they take no responsibility for their actions. They even have the arrogance to hide under the word 'professionalism' when many of them are dangerous amateurs. My therapist did help me a lot for nine months then she suddenly changed, withdrew her support and discarded me like a bit of rubbish. I returned to depression for another year until I found a therapist who said her actions were wrong. By this time though I didn't trust anyone. 

[Eve B]

If you stopped trusting, how were you able to convince yourself to risk trying a different therapist?

[Happynow]

5 hours ago, Eve B said:

If you stopped trusting, how were you able to convince yourself to risk trying a different therapist?

I was between a rock and a hard place. I wanted to get better but was really concerned about getting discarded again. I didn't know what other type of treatment to have. The major point of my concern was if I told the new therapist about my last therapist that she would be on her side and I would be distraught. That's why it took me a year to go to another one. A year when my depression came back. Eventually I didn't have a choice and I took the plunge. Luckily she agreed with me phew! This highlights the problem that clients badly hurt by therapy have simply nowhere to go (apart from here) whilst therapists have their Supervisor to support them. A crazy situation.

[Mary S]

9 hours ago, Happynow said:

Eventually I didn't have a choice and I took the plunge. Luckily she agreed with me phew! This highlights the problem that clients badly hurt by therapy have simply nowhere to go (apart from here) whilst therapists have their Supervisor to support them. A crazy situation.

I'm so glad you found a new therapist who made sense for you. I initially tried at least three therapists who were more counterproductive than helpful. Over the period of a several years, I tried some more -- I did eventually find one who I think might  have helped me if he had been the first (or even second or third) I tried. But after the three bad experiences, I was pretty hard to help. Over the years, I kept trying a new therapist every year or two or three. There were a couple more who might have been able to help me if they had been the first -- but the cumulative experience of three counterproductive therapists in a row really made it hard for me to articulate things and to trust a new therapist. Fortunately, I survived, but still have the intrusive thoughts of therapists behaving intrusively.  I found them very difficult to communicate with; we so often seemed off in different worlds. It's not like I'm a totally isolated person-- I worked with a lot of different types of people in my job, and with rare exceptions got along well with them (and usually the rare exceptions were people that other people had difficulty with as well). But therapists just seemed like they were from a different culture, with values that were so different from mine.

[Happynow]

1 hour ago, Mary S said:

I'm so glad you found a new therapist who made sense for you. I initially tried at least three therapists who were more counterproductive than helpful. Over the period of a several years, I tried some more -- I did eventually find one who I think might  have helped me if he had been the first (or even second or third) I tried. But after the three bad experiences, I was pretty hard to help. Over the years, I kept trying a new therapist every year or two or three. There were a couple more who might have been able to help me if they had been the first -- but the cumulative experience of three counterproductive therapists in a row really made it hard for me to articulate things and to trust a new therapist. Fortunately, I survived, but still have the intrusive thoughts of therapists behaving intrusively.  I found them very difficult to communicate with; we so often seemed off in different worlds. It's not like I'm a totally isolated person-- I worked with a lot of different types of people in my job, and with rare exceptions got along well with them (and usually the rare exceptions were people that other people had difficulty with as well). But therapists just seemed like they were from a different culture, with values that were so different from mine.

I don't think we can win with a therapist. If we get on well they get terrified they will get struck off and if we don't get on it ain't gonna work. I personally find it completely unnatural to be in a room every week for months, to talk about our innermost feelings, and not to get close, attached. I think that is healthy and normal. Hurt by therapy was completely right and normal to say she was like a friend. In my job as a support worker we have a term called 'professional friendship' which I like, but I have made personal friendships. Even with that I still did my job professionally. Therapists have too many hang ups and these hang ups are what disturbs the clients.