New member, a confused one))

[Lexie]

Hello Everyone,

I am so glad I've found this forum! I've been in therapy for MDD and CPTSD for a year and a half, and a major rupture happened three months ago. I left, and then I came back to the same therapist, but the way he treated me changed completely. I still don't know which action was worse for me, leaving or coming back(( I am confused now, and hope you will help me to understand what is happening to me, and if my therapy is helpful or harmful to me.

I will share my story in another post, and for now nice to meet you all!

Thank you,

Lexie

[disequilibrium1]

Lexie, welcome. Nice to meet you. I don't know your specific details of course, save to say that therapists have vanity, and though they say they support our independence, this group found they  can be unhappy to have their "authority" and "expertise" questioned and are very capability of gaslighting.

My therapist posed as the ultimate authority on "what was good for me" disregarding my painful protests. On the good news front, sorting this out was probably the best thing that ever happened to me.

[Happynow]

On 12/11/2022 at 10:28 PM, Lexie said:

Hello Everyone,

I am so glad I've found this forum! I've been in therapy for MDD and CPTSD for a year and a half, and a major rupture happened three months ago. I left, and then I came back to the same therapist, but the way he treated me changed completely. I still don't know which action was worse for me, leaving or coming back(( I am confused now, and hope you will help me to understand what is happening to me, and if my therapy is helpful or harmful to me.

I will share my story in another post, and for now nice to meet you all!

Thank you,

Lexie

Welcome Lexie it's good here, sometimes a little quiet, but quality is better than quantity.      The one thing that is required in therapy is consistency from the therapist. It needs to be a safe place. That is the therapists responsibility. If he has changed its his responsibility definitely not yours. I'm not surprised you are confused that reaction is completely normal. I've learnt that if a person is irresponsible we walk away we don't spend time thinking about it because that just increases our anxiety. There are plenty more around and if the next one doesn't work we move on to the next and so on. Good luck.

[Eve B]

<Waves hi and grins> Pleased to have you here, Lexie! I think that therapist should've been more appreciative of you giving him another chance to fix the rupture. It's unfortunately common, however, that therapists will change their act when therapy goes wrong, and then you don't know who they are anymore. Yes, you will feel confused along with a mix of other negative emotions, and it will likely take a long time before you finally figure it out. Please try to remember that it wasn't your fault and that you have the support of others who have suffered similar experiences.   

[Lexie]

On 12/12/2022 at 10:11 AM, disequilibrium1 said:

Lexie, welcome. Nice to meet you. I don't know your specific details of course, save to say that therapists have vanity, and though they say they support our independence, this group found they  can be unhappy to have their "authority" and "expertise" questioned and are very capability of gaslighting.

 

Thank you, disequilibrium1! Nice to meet you, too.

I believe gaslighting was a part of my therapy, too((

[Lexie]

On 12/12/2022 at 4:43 PM, Happynow said:

Welcome Lexie it's good here, sometimes a little quiet, but quality is better than quantity.      The one thing that is required in therapy is consistency from the therapist. It needs to be a safe place. That is the therapists responsibility. If he has changed its his responsibility definitely not yours. I'm not surprised you are confused that reaction is completely normal. I've learnt that if a person is irresponsible we walk away we don't spend time thinking about it because that just increases our anxiety. There are plenty more around and if the next one doesn't work we move on to the next and so on. Good luck.

Thanks Happynow, I don't mind it's being quiet here. I am not in a hurry)) There was no consistency.

[Lexie]

On 12/12/2022 at 9:32 PM, Eve B said:

<Waves hi and grins> Pleased to have you here, Lexie! I think that therapist should've been more appreciative of you giving him another chance to fix the rupture. It's unfortunately common, however, that therapists will change their act when therapy goes wrong, and then you don't know who they are anymore. Yes, you will feel confused along with a mix of other negative emotions, and it will likely take a long time before you finally figure it out. Please try to remember that it wasn't your fault and that you have the support of others who have suffered similar experiences.   

Hi Eve, that's exactly what I feel now: I just don't know who he is anymore! I think I better start a new topic and explain everything. It may take me a few days to finish))