Nkit

Are there clear guidelines as to what's appropriate or inappropriate? Her question about my sexuality was inappropriate in my opinion. As for her psychologist co-worker, I don't think he should have gossiped about her to my relative. The fact that he informed her my psychiatrist was leaving and told her to brace myself for the news was also a bit sketchy. Maybe he didn't like my psychiatrist? To be honest this whole experience has made me a bit sceptical of therapists and therapy in general.

Yeah, I think she would've been angry at her psychologist coworker and he might have gotten into trouble. She didn't charge for the last session. I think she went away thinking she did a great job in therapy with me. Her replacement told me she told her that she wished she could've continued therapy with me. Urgh, it was such a tricky situation.

Hi everybody, I (F late 20s) just wanted to describe my bad experience in therapy. Since last summer, I've been going to a health clinic twice a month to get therapy. In my country, psychiatrists can give talk therapy and as I was really struggling at the time (not working, physical and mental problems, not getting with my family), I just went for the first available therapist, who turned out to be a psychiatrist. For the first two sessions, I literally just cried and she (F mid 30s) hardly said anything. She kept on recommending SSRIs and between sessions, she would call me to ask how I was adjusting to the medication (badly). Our fourth session was really weird, seeing as I got a flirtatious vibe from her. I was her last patient of the day and honestly that session ended badly, given that she asked me if I'm into women. At first, I just sidestepped her question, but as she kept on insisting ("You know this is a safe space, you can tell me anything" while making puppy dog eyes), I finally put my foot down and said that my personal life is not the reason I'm in therapy, that I have boundaries and that there are some things that I'd rather keep to myself. After I said that I've had boyfriends in the past, she sort of snapped back into reality and seemed shocked by her own behaviour. Maybe she realised that her questions were more for her benefit / curiosity. In any case, for that session, she wrote the doctor's note all in red and placed the stamp in the wrong location. Moreover, she wrote that our next appointment would be in February, which given the fact that we were in August, was also really bizarre. Lastly, she also seemed kind of freaked out that our session went overtime by 20 minutes. It just so happens that a relative of mine also goes to the same health clinic. I didn't tell her the details of my therapy sessions, but confessed that I'm seeing said psychiatrist and that I wasn't sure if I should continue with her. Anyway, in September my relative talked with her psychologist about how I wasn't sure if I should continue therapy with said psychiatrist. Her psychologist went on to tell her that my psychiatrist had just handed in her resignation ("Good news for nkit, her psychiatrist just handed in her resignation!") and would leave at the end of the year, because she was experiencing marital problems with her husband. In addition to that, she allegedly also didn't get along with her co-workers at the health clinic ("She's too set in her ways") and received multiple complaints from patients (I myself never complained about her). According to my relative's psychologist, my psychiatrist lacked experience ("She's too young and not dedicated to her job"). All this information was relayed to me before my next session with my psychiatrist during which I braced myself for the news that she was leaving. Strangely, during that session she never told me she was leaving. For some strange reason, I started feeling attached to her and felt sad that she was leaving, thinking that I'd have to start the whole therapy process anew with someone else. I guess I developed what therapists call 'transference' for her. At our next session, she finally revealed that she was leaving and even noted in a sheepish manner that she thought she'd already told me (she hadn't). I really didn't know what to do with the insider knowledge I had. Should I have revealed to her that I already knew of her upcoming departure and risk her being angry at my relative and relative's psychologist or should I just keep the information to myself. Ultimately, I chose the latter. In November, my relative told me that she asked her psychologist who would be my replacement when my psychiatrist left at the end of the year. According to him, my psychiatrist told him, she'd refer me to a psychologist who's surname starts with the letter H. In early December and during what was supposed to be our last session (I didn't know that) with my psychiatrist, she seemed really emotional. At one point, tears even fell from one of her eyes and she would mix up words (talking about my daughter, when I don't have any children). I chalked it up to her having dust in her eyes or maybe wearing contacts, but in hindsight I think she may have had countertransference and been really sad. Only in the last 15 minutes of this session did she reveal that this would be the last time we saw each other. She also said that my replacement would be a therapist who just left maternity leave, different from the one whose surname starts with the letter H. Why the change in replacement? An hour after we said goodbye, my psychiatrist called me to say that I can still call her to talk if I want. I don't know why she offered that to me. It actually just made our goodbye much more difficult. In the end, we decided to have one last session, because I told her I didn't know this was supposed to be our last session. At our last session, however, I totally couldn't focus and kind of acted like a fool by asking too many personal question. I don't know what happened to me, but I felt really heartbroken that this would be the last time we spoke (clinic's policy). Since our last meeting, I've been reading a lot of articles about transference and actually stumbled upon a good article Transference Love and Harm by Dawn Devereux. In this article, she talks about adverse idealising transference (AIT), which basically is when a patient transfers idealising feelings from a person in their past onto their therapist. The downside (adverse aspect) is that the patient's transference or idealisation intensifies, rather than abates. One of the therapist actions that can contribute to AIT is when the therapist reveals unsatisfactory aspects about their private life. In my case, it wasn't really my psychiatrist who revealed stuff like that, but her coworker psychologist and my relative. I don't know what to do about my feelings of heartbreak. Has anyone else felt really sad about their therapist leaving? How long did it take for you to get over the pain? Or have you had a strange scenario like mine in which you got insider information from another therapist working at the same clinic? Is my relative or her psychologist to blame? Should I have confessed to my psychiatrist that I knew too much? Would appreciate any input or thoughts you guys may have