disequilibrium1

Fairy tales is correct. They had me believe I was undergoing shattering change. In reality I went through the world as the same square peg. Journal keeping, whimpering about mean mommy, paid reassurances of my worth do not magically transform me.

I've seen therapists believe that the rituals and incantations they use have some magic power to transform. They believe, armed with their mysterious, mystical toolkit, they can take on the world as saviors and sorcerers. They seem utterly bewildered when told their wondrous powers don't really work.

Welcome, Hello Universe. I've found this forum a wonderful place to bounce thoughts and observations off one another to help synthesize that happened. Heavens, I got little to no help from psych 'professionals" who seem terrified of the possibility they might cause harm. I personally was not friends with therapists. However, I read many accounts when I was active a Psych Central forum, and some members reported much harm and confusion. The closest I came was a music teacher who stoked a personal (non-sexual) and professional relationship. She definitely had the upper hand and when she was going through a difficult time, the power dynamic came around to bite me. Look forward to your posts.

Moonfrog, you seem to have a good prospective on events and the courage to talk about them. I can't imagine what it was like to be under someone's control as you describe. It took me years to be able to summarize my therapist's transgressions and stand up for myself, so you're way ahead. I hope the distance, and the increasing time and distance finds you peace. I never got any assistance, much less apology, from the original wrong-doers, but earned my own strength in sorting through the gaslighting. Indeed, gaslighting is what it is. I found comfort in establishing my own life competencies, in physical movement, and in reading how others process their unhappy experiences. Many of us have had a difficult row in the pandemic; much more so for anyone who lost a livelihood. I found my 20s the most difficult time in my adulthood and commend you for your education and skills. Welcome. I hope the immediacy of this horror continues to recede for you. Incidentally, there's a lawyer/member on the Psych Central forum who, I gather, specializes in patient's rights in these holds. Some of us also have gotten conversation and help from the therapist exploitation link line: https://www.therapyabuse.org/

Sandpiper Crossing, welcome. I agree with you completely; I find scant literature about therapy's harm, and almost none of it parallels my experience. Their so-called "ethics" discussions seem most concerned with avoiding improper appearances and defenses against being sued. The consumer is left on his/her own to figure it out. This is so hypocritical for the profession advertising honesty, self-examination and deep meaning. We have been pooling our own observations and thoughts here;look forward to yours.

At the time therapists somehow thought that ***talking about our feelings*** would create healing and mystique and a dove would burst out of our chests freeing us from our pasts. I don't know why this didn't work.

Therapists are...selling an engineered relationship as authentic and subordination as empowerment.

I did experience some kind of catharsis in my first therapy when I burst into tears and my blood pressure lowered. My therapist thought it the beginning of the end of therapy. However awareness of my life's crumminess doesn't change how I relate to the world. Contrary to the article, my therapies were full of "how does it make you feel"? Our group therapists in fact reprimanded us for discussing our thoughts as opposed to our feelings.

I filed my complaint for the same reasons 1) To put his behavior on the record 2) to express, best I could, the harm he caused. My case was too nuanced to consider a legal option.

HBT, sorry about your experience and welcome here. My therapist did an outstanding job of rebutting my complaint by making me sound psychotic, incapable of distinguishing him and my parent. I lost the complaint. He ended though by saying he had "compassion" for me. What a performance.

Old Man, I missed your original post. I'm very sorry about the hell this guy put you through. In the US, libel litigation is particularly prickly about "interfering with one's livelihood. Though I've been as truthful as possible from my perception, I've been careful not to name guilty parties by name publicly in my venting. I did file formal complaints, so they're aware of my frank opinion about their competency. In processing my destructive, its been most helpful to de-mystify my therapy and the the relationship. I came to to (almost) see the therapist as a peer rather than an authority with any special knowledge. Unfortunately I fell for the therapist's "theatre," including the lie of the therapist's omniscience. Untangling this has been a difficult, but ultimately beneficial process--far more helpful than the actual therapy. Wishing you strength.

Welcome, sapphire. Glad you found your way here.

Welcome. You're definitely not alone.

April, welcome, and feel free to come-as-you-are here. I found the cough, real therapy began when I started to recovery from the "therapy."

I doubt the question can be answered as I doubt many really know why they wanted to be counselors. All but one counselor I know was absurdly grandiose. I also see this in their writing, in their sweeping, glib exclamations about causality and the human mind.

That article reinforces what I see in psych writing and what I pulled from my own experience--that a significant number of therapists consider themselves magically superior beings with supreme insights, social skills and mastery over life. That's dangerous for both the therapists and the client. (And then some turn around to claim they're only human.)

zygomaticus, welcome. I've noticed therapists seemingly more self-deluded as they go, believing themselves gifted with special knowledge and beyond the bounds of pedestrian ethical restrictions. They seem so convinced in their divine healing powers, it's easy to rope others into their folly.

I knew my bullies made my shameful and intimidated, without realizing deeply how bad they were. But I didn't realize until much later how poor the directive, syrupy, "maternal" therapist was. I needed the opposite of what I thought I needed. But in fact even if I found someone the equivalent of the good parent, sympathetic while encouraging my independence, would that have in fact helped me? That person still isn't my parent, and we only have one childhood.

Though I've discussed my experiences extensively, I wouldn't want them their discussion fodder on a podcast like this. Their "empathy check" seems more to favor the therapist.

I can only speculate based on the apparent dearth of professional interest in harmful therapy. The literature I see skims lightly, and/or is far more concerned with legal liability than the client. Yes, the podcast is an attention scheme. But if these two launch into their profession continuing their exploration, more power to them.

I listened to podcast #3 and found it quite thoughtful. Racism can be a pervasive element in someone's life, from passersby, in institutions, in the family of origin and how it is internalized. Of course it shouldn't be sloughed off in therapy. Psych Central posts and my own experience give me the impression that some therapists are far more interested in dramatizing intrapsychic conflicts than in dealing with actual circumstances. Perhaps it's not surprising that students take on the topic of poor therapy. In addition that urge the young sometimes have to "compete" with their elders, they don't yet have the investment of years and the need for livelihood. Their profession has yet to be the hand that feeds them.

So much psych writing, as well as my personal experiences, have been around categorizing people and behavior and "explaining" causalities. I think any attempt to explain causality is unsound because we never can definitively know that we're doing such and such behavior because of mother's inadequate affection. Even if it were true, there's no turning back the clock. And yes, the client has to leave the consulting room and function. I found it a hindrance believing that my inadequate upbringing left me defective and cursed. I would have preferred to understand that every being experiences disappointment, sorrows and shortcoming but gets to create life going forward.

I thought the second episode good—until the “resistance” topic. Unless there is present tense evidence, the therapist rarely will know any more than the client’s reporting. So how can she sort “resistance” from reality? Maybe therapists receive so much training in the resistance hammer that everything looks like a nail. Then validation and acceptance is abandoned for a power struggle, all on the altar of theory. I find a foundational flaw of therapy is how it abstracts and distorts human experience, too often leaving therapists with their heads up their theoretical nautilus shells. I recall a friend meeting “resistance” from the therapist when she tried to explore a new direction for her sexuality. The therapist shut her down. That said, I’m now happy for the podcast and that two students took this on.

Therapists acknowledging harm at least is a good step. There seems so little thought about damage. I also think therapist behavior doesn't have to be egregious by their standards to be harmful to some clients. Therapists seem to make so many automatic assumptions about what's "good for us."

I half-listened to much of the first. The bad EDMR experience quickly was countered by a shill for that modality and a lot of claims that sounded like dodgy neuroscience to me.